| ONE DUCK | Mark, struggling to distinguish “soldiers” and “troops”, after hearing the difference twelve times. |
| TWO LAUGHING GEESE | Jane, at least, who spent half the last evening lying on the floor in pained laughter. |
| THREE CORPEOUS CORPUSCLES | I didn’t see much blood, but I guess Jane (again) may have lost a few more than three. |
| FOUR LIMERICK OYSTERS | Might have made a nice starter, but I doubt if they would have fed 14. |
| AND FIVE PAIRS O F DEFONZILLED TWEEZERS | A grater might have been more useful. |
| SIX HUNDRED MACEDONIAN SOLDIERS LINED UP IN FULL BATTLE ARRAY | And three cheers for the RAF mountain rescue crew too. |
| SEVEN ELEVATED ELEPHANTS ELEVATED IN AN ELEVATOR | Damn huw! Thump, Thump! Damn huw! |
| EIGHT MEN AND WOMEN SPEEDING BEER IN KCR – THAT’S A PUB IN ENGLAND | Better than 13 in the Cluanie Inn (that’s a pub in Scotland), secretly buying whisky, planning next year’s dates and plotting an Annual Dinner. |
| NINE CRIPPLED COCKROACHES CLIMBING CRACKED CROCKERY AT CLIFTON INN | They would have had a field day in our kitchen and larder, but we had Lizzie instead. |
| TEN…. | Sardines hiding with Phil at 1.30am, the others having got bored and gone to bed. |
